Births, like many things in life, don't happen on a schedule. They seem to follow their own patterns, kinda like the kid who is shorter than all his classmates at the beginning of grade nine but ends up a head taller than the rest of them by the end of the school year.
Some women give birth in two hours flat. The rest of us ordinary gals wish we could birth like that, but most fast birthers will tell you it is somewhat overwhelming (what an understatement I'm sure!)
Some women give birth in under 24 hours. My first labour was like this, about 15 hours start to finish. Most of it was spent in the quiet peace of my home, coping with contractions and spending the wee hours of the morning in my tub. The last three hours were spent at the hospital.
Then there are the rest of the gals out there. For some women, their body likes to work through labour and delivery over a longer period of time. I'll give you an example of how labour can go for one of these women: baby drops one day, three days later contractions start coming regularly for a number of hours. Mom is excited- this is it! Then the darned things stop. Her body has (effaced)thinned out her cervix, then taken a rest. She is frustrated but she waits. A few days later labour kicks in again. She dilates (her cervix opens) to 3 cm. Then contractions stop again. 24 hours later labour kicks in again, and after eight hours of contractions she is fully dilated- her cervix has opened to 10 cm. Mom feels sleepy, her contractions have stopped, so she lays down to have a nap. 45 minutes later, she wakes up with her baby halfway down the birth canal and breathes her baby out.
Are you reading this in disbelief? Are you thinking that it's impossible? That you've never heard of a labour like that before? Births like I have just described ARE rare, because when we follow modern obstetrical protocols we just don't usually leave a birth to its own devices. Mothers with "stalled" labour are given drugs to speed up the process. They are led to believe that their bodies, for some unknown reason, don't work properly, and they need assistance. Their births are also pushed along because stats show that the longer you are in labour the higher your risk of infection. So the slow birther is going to have her birth pushed along with interventions that all increase her sensation of pain, her need for more drugs, her chance of a cesarian section, and the chance her baby will need attention in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
Here's how a midwife/doctor/traditional birth attendant who believes in a woman's ability to birth her baby will deal with this scenario:
1. Vaginal exams are not performed. Your birth attendant understands that your risk of infection is directly correlated to how many vaginal exams you have before your baby is born. Even a sterile glove is going to introduce bacteria from the air, from the practitioner, from your external genitalia up inside your body. Of course your chance of infection will be increased! Your attendant can tell that your labour is progressing without the need for internal exams.
2. Your bag of waters is not broken. This practice has been thought to help speed along a labour. Even in studies that showed a shorter labour and birth, the difference was only half an hour. The risks associated with the practice, including higher infection rates and fetal distress, drastically outweigh the benefit of a slightly shorter labour.
3. Your are encouraged to move and rest according to how you feel. Your practitioner will allow you to decide what is best for you. If you feel restless, you might want to pace the floor. If you are sleepy, you can have a nap. If you are hungry, you eat what you can tolerate.
4. You are assessed to see if your baby is in a good position for birth. Some babies are in awkward positions which draw out a labour. By massaging your belly and listening to your baby with a fetoscope, your practitioner can figure out how he or she is positioned in your uterus. If your baby is poorly positioned, your practitioner can suggest positions to help your baby turn, perform external massage to help him turn, or, as a last resort, perform manouevers during a vaginal exam to help your baby be in a better position.
There is no hard and fast rule that says once you go into labour, you MUST have your baby. A good practitioner will pay close attention to your health and your baby's health, and support you to make sure you are well rested and nourished during a drawn out birth. They can help you to deal with contractions, and, most likely, once you become further dilated (your cervix is more opened up), you will stay in labour that continues to progress without long breaks. You and your practitioner should also be aware that sometimes your body will stop labouring due to external stress. Perhaps you are nervous in a hospital, and need extra reassurance. Perhaps you invited too many people to your homebirth, and your original plan of a joyful party is now leaving you wishing for privacy. Together you can make adjustments to your environment to help you feel comfortable.
In my opinion, this kind of birth is most easily facilitated at home. Your practitioner can focus on a quality experience with you instead of following rules about what stage in labour you should be in based on the clock. Then, years later, you can talk about how your child, who is always slow to get going in the morning, did the same thing when he was born....it makes for a cute story ;)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
New Year's Resolutions
Simple, right? It should be. I am not resolving this year to lose weight, or eat better, or change the fact that I am about the least organized person you will meet. I want more than a physical change in the way I interact with the world.
So here goes. This year I am resolving to live in alignment with my personal convictions. I feel a strong need to make my environmental footprint smaller and to serve my fellow persons. I want to make sure that I consume less and choose alternatives, that I spend quality time with the people I love, and that I develop my spiritual/live views further.
That's it. When I put it down it seems a heck of a lot simpler than focusing on surface things, because my mind works on a deeper level.
What are your resolutions this year?
So here goes. This year I am resolving to live in alignment with my personal convictions. I feel a strong need to make my environmental footprint smaller and to serve my fellow persons. I want to make sure that I consume less and choose alternatives, that I spend quality time with the people I love, and that I develop my spiritual/live views further.
That's it. When I put it down it seems a heck of a lot simpler than focusing on surface things, because my mind works on a deeper level.
What are your resolutions this year?
Monday, December 17, 2007
Reflecting
I've neglected this baby of a blog for the past couple of weeks. I just started work at a new baby boutique, Stylin' Mama Baby & Tot in Saint John NB. Some great products and working for a great business woman, Jenny Scott. It's been a lot of fun but in some ways I feel like I've been thrown into the fast lane. As with anything else, it's all about adjusting to new things.
Speaking of adjusting to new things, I am also in the process of reflecting on this past year. For those of you who don't know me, in the past year I left my marriage of 10 years, moved to a new city, and engaged in a struggle to find out more about myself and what I want out of life. Tall order. The struggle continues. It's a happy struggle more days than not, but there are those days when I wonder how I will get through the day. Then a friend calls or my kids say something wonderful or I just feel totally successful with something I've done and the smile returns.
I am looking forward to 2008. I still have some major changes I want to make in my life: returning to school, personal fitness, organizational skills, goal setting and attaining my dreams, becoming a better parent, looking at options to public school for my kids, completing my divorce, getting my finances on track, nourishing my spiritual needs and more.
It honestly doesn't seem like such a tall order for the woman who started the year with a jumbled heart and mind and is ending the year feeling strong and confident. I have learned some hard lessons this year and become acquainted with my demons. Going into 2008 I want to give them a big hug and let them know I love them, flaws and all. That I love ME, flaws and all. Here's to a smashing year :)
Speaking of adjusting to new things, I am also in the process of reflecting on this past year. For those of you who don't know me, in the past year I left my marriage of 10 years, moved to a new city, and engaged in a struggle to find out more about myself and what I want out of life. Tall order. The struggle continues. It's a happy struggle more days than not, but there are those days when I wonder how I will get through the day. Then a friend calls or my kids say something wonderful or I just feel totally successful with something I've done and the smile returns.
I am looking forward to 2008. I still have some major changes I want to make in my life: returning to school, personal fitness, organizational skills, goal setting and attaining my dreams, becoming a better parent, looking at options to public school for my kids, completing my divorce, getting my finances on track, nourishing my spiritual needs and more.
It honestly doesn't seem like such a tall order for the woman who started the year with a jumbled heart and mind and is ending the year feeling strong and confident. I have learned some hard lessons this year and become acquainted with my demons. Going into 2008 I want to give them a big hug and let them know I love them, flaws and all. That I love ME, flaws and all. Here's to a smashing year :)
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Women's magic (Periods are NOT icky)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21996417/
I heard a while back that a new source of stem cells could be menstrual fluid. Currently stem cells are being used to try to grow new organs and find treatments for diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. Stem cells have typically been harvested from embryos, a morally questionable practice that yields cells capable of becoming virtually any kind of cell you can find in the human body. Menstrual blood also yields cells, dubbed endometrial stem cells, that have the same capabilities, according to researchers around the world.
Would you believe that I'm not surprised? Traditionally, in every culture around the world, menstruation has been seen as a mystery, with some kind of ceremony revolving around a girl's first period, or menarche. Women were seen as being very powerful, with menstrual blood regarded as magical and even dangerous to men. In "The Red Tent", by author Anita Diamant, there is a powerful scene where the women are accused of stealing their father's many household gods. When he finds out that the gods have been hidden in the straw the women sit upon during menstruation, he regards them as being defiled and does not pursue the matter further.
Wouldn't it be amazing if information, such as the stem cell breakthrough, got women to regard their periods as times of power instead of with disgust and dread?
I challenge women to start taking back their periods! Start by seeing if you can take a day to yourself each month when your period starts. If you can't use a day off at work, at least set aside a few hours. Try alternative products like a Diva Cup or cloth pads. When you empty your Diva Cup you can add water to the menstrual blood for a great way to give magic to your plants, instead of having it end up in the sewage system or in the landfill.
For more info, here are some great websites:
http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tent-Anita-Diamant/dp/0312195516
http://www.mum.org/
http://www.divacup.com/
http://www.lunapads.com/
I heard a while back that a new source of stem cells could be menstrual fluid. Currently stem cells are being used to try to grow new organs and find treatments for diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. Stem cells have typically been harvested from embryos, a morally questionable practice that yields cells capable of becoming virtually any kind of cell you can find in the human body. Menstrual blood also yields cells, dubbed endometrial stem cells, that have the same capabilities, according to researchers around the world.
Would you believe that I'm not surprised? Traditionally, in every culture around the world, menstruation has been seen as a mystery, with some kind of ceremony revolving around a girl's first period, or menarche. Women were seen as being very powerful, with menstrual blood regarded as magical and even dangerous to men. In "The Red Tent", by author Anita Diamant, there is a powerful scene where the women are accused of stealing their father's many household gods. When he finds out that the gods have been hidden in the straw the women sit upon during menstruation, he regards them as being defiled and does not pursue the matter further.
Wouldn't it be amazing if information, such as the stem cell breakthrough, got women to regard their periods as times of power instead of with disgust and dread?
I challenge women to start taking back their periods! Start by seeing if you can take a day to yourself each month when your period starts. If you can't use a day off at work, at least set aside a few hours. Try alternative products like a Diva Cup or cloth pads. When you empty your Diva Cup you can add water to the menstrual blood for a great way to give magic to your plants, instead of having it end up in the sewage system or in the landfill.
For more info, here are some great websites:
http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tent-Anita-Diamant/dp/0312195516
http://www.mum.org/
http://www.divacup.com/
http://www.lunapads.com/
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Words of wisdom for the holidays
Anyone who knows me also knows what a big fan I am of FLYLADY. If you haven't yet, I urge everyone to go to flylady.net. There, Marla and Kelly and their friends help us FLYbabies get our lives in order, in our homes, our physical body and our emotional and spiritual sides as well. FLY means Finally Loving Yourself. WOW. This is the advice I received today in my email inbox:
"FLYLADY: Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your Peace
Dear Friends:
We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to
be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that
the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us
that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel
the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught
in that downward spiral of hurting.
Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or
how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU!
You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing!
Remember that you can't change how people behave – you can only
change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin
Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat
you poorly – feel pity for her because most likely she is a very
insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is
hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not
know what it is like to FLY!
Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things
in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up
in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to
hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it
proudly.
Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This
means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you
angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without
straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so!
Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk
behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to
make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes
to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways
and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with
grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is
not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones
always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be
someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of
misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are
FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what
unhappy and miserable people think or say about you. YOU know you
are worthy and deserving of love not hurt.
When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off
your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I
am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but
you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK
AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad
person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and
left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with
the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this
means taking care of you……. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!!
You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday
season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the
Holidays!!! Do this for YOU!
Love,
Kelly"
WOW again. FlyLady not only helps me to get my house in order...she is a great personal coach. Enjoy!
"FLYLADY: Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your Peace
Dear Friends:
We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to
be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that
the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us
that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel
the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught
in that downward spiral of hurting.
Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or
how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU!
You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing!
Remember that you can't change how people behave – you can only
change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin
Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat
you poorly – feel pity for her because most likely she is a very
insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is
hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not
know what it is like to FLY!
Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things
in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up
in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to
hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it
proudly.
Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This
means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you
angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without
straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so!
Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk
behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to
make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes
to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways
and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with
grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is
not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones
always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be
someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of
misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are
FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what
unhappy and miserable people think or say about you. YOU know you
are worthy and deserving of love not hurt.
When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off
your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I
am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but
you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK
AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad
person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and
left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with
the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this
means taking care of you……. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!!
You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday
season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the
Holidays!!! Do this for YOU!
Love,
Kelly"
WOW again. FlyLady not only helps me to get my house in order...she is a great personal coach. Enjoy!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question...
This week while out doing my Christmas shopping I picked up the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. There are no more babies in my house but I have often seen it recommended for new parents and wondered what all of the hype was about.
Mrs. Pantley wrote this book in response to her own struggles getting her youngest of four children to sleep longer stretches through the night. She, like many other parents, could not accept that the only option was to allow her son to "cry it out".
The book is a great resource to read through and gives a number of great suggestions to help you guide your little one to get more sleep. Through the use of sleep charts and an understanding of the physical and psychological needs of the infant, parents can start sleeping better.
I most appreciate the author's warm, caring tone. It is like being wrapped up in a warm blanket! The only downside to the book, if there is one, is that it's so comprehensive that you can't just take a bulleted list to follow. In order to get the whole picture you need to read through it, however if you are too time-crunched or sleep deprived, you can also jump in at different points along the way and still gain valuable insight.
This book is a must have for parents-to-be who want to practice the art of gentle parenting. I would also suggest extra copies for grandparents and whoever will be caring for your baby when you are not around.
Another blog you may want to check out is:
http://parentingbabytosleep.blogspot.com/
Cheers!
Amy
Mrs. Pantley wrote this book in response to her own struggles getting her youngest of four children to sleep longer stretches through the night. She, like many other parents, could not accept that the only option was to allow her son to "cry it out".
The book is a great resource to read through and gives a number of great suggestions to help you guide your little one to get more sleep. Through the use of sleep charts and an understanding of the physical and psychological needs of the infant, parents can start sleeping better.
I most appreciate the author's warm, caring tone. It is like being wrapped up in a warm blanket! The only downside to the book, if there is one, is that it's so comprehensive that you can't just take a bulleted list to follow. In order to get the whole picture you need to read through it, however if you are too time-crunched or sleep deprived, you can also jump in at different points along the way and still gain valuable insight.
This book is a must have for parents-to-be who want to practice the art of gentle parenting. I would also suggest extra copies for grandparents and whoever will be caring for your baby when you are not around.
Another blog you may want to check out is:
http://parentingbabytosleep.blogspot.com/
Cheers!
Amy
Friday, November 16, 2007
Birth As We Know It....a must watch for everyone
This powerful, beautiful video states all that I feel in my heart and soul about birth. It touches on ancient wisdom and shows birth the way it is meant to be: peaceful, fearless, powerful, loving. Here is the 10 minute trailer...please share it with everyone! I am looking forward to seeing the full video.
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