Anyone who knows me also knows what a big fan I am of FLYLADY. If you haven't yet, I urge everyone to go to flylady.net. There, Marla and Kelly and their friends help us FLYbabies get our lives in order, in our homes, our physical body and our emotional and spiritual sides as well. FLY means Finally Loving Yourself. WOW. This is the advice I received today in my email inbox:
"FLYLADY: Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your Peace
We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to
be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that
the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us
that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel
the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught
in that downward spiral of hurting.
Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or
how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU!
You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing!
Remember that you can't change how people behave – you can only
change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin
Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat
you poorly – feel pity for her because most likely she is a very
insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is
hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not
know what it is like to FLY!
Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things
in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up
in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to
hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it
Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This
means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you
angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without
straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so!
Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk
behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to
make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes
to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways
and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with
grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is
not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones
always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be
someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of
misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are
FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what
unhappy and miserable people think or say about you. YOU know you
are worthy and deserving of love not hurt.
When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off
your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I
am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but
you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK
AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad
person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and
left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with
the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this
means taking care of you……. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!!
You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday
season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the
Holidays!!! Do this for YOU!
WOW again. FlyLady not only helps me to get my house in order...she is a great personal coach. Enjoy!