Today I was blessed to meet a wonderful spiritual guide, Chekotah Bronson. He is from Alberta and on his way through New Brunswick...I don't remember why? But some people that you meet just pour out energy and light. Without even knowing me he gave me words of encouragement and insight about midwifery and serving women, babies and the world.
Thank you Chekotah!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The beginning of a journey
Yesterday, while blogging about "babymoons" I remembered, fondly, some of the sites that influenced and educated me as a newly pregnant mom with my first child. I was a "young" mom at 21, none of my friends had babies, and my mom had gone through 3 c-sections to bring my siblings and I into the world. I had noone that I knew personally who could give me encouragement or information. So I turned to the internet.
Since I believe that our state of mind and our deep seated beliefs can create our reality, I decided two things: that my body must be able to birth babies, because it was designed to do it; and that I wanted to do it as naturally as possible. So I Googled "natural childbirth". All of the references that came up (ok, not all, but most) had to do with homebirths, many with midwives and some of them *gasp* unassisted! At the time, some of the things I read seemed strange to me: MangoMama and her talk of Lotus births and babymoons, BirthLove with Leilah McCracken and her heartbreaking essay "Rape of the 21st Century", placenta smoothies to help with postpartum recovery, and more. But I kept reading.
I read of moms dealing with pain firsthand, with gentle support and love around them. I read of dads catching their babies. I read of strength and triumph and exhaustion and joy. These stories became the basis of my own personal mantra "I CAN DO THIS". I thank every one of those mothers who shared their birth stories, who by doing so empowered me to have a wonderful birth.
Now, almost 10 years later, I am appreciative that all my research led me to a greater understanding of birth, and the miracle that it is. Each website I found led me to more information. I learned how to really read studies. I learned how to dig until I found facts, and evidence-based information. I participated in chatrooms, usually as an observer. Finally, I started working as a doula and got to put some of the theory, and the universal knowledge that we all carry, into helping women with their births.
If you are thinking of a homebirth, or of working as a doula or midwife, or want a low intervention birth at the hospital, do your homework. Educate yourself. There is a good chance you will go through some of the same things I did: surprise, fear, shock, awe, anger, disgust and more when you figure out the reality behind modern birthing practices. Then you need to reach out to midwives, doulas, friends, sisters, partners and more and talk about what you learn, vent your frustrations and go about creating and healing your own birth experiences.
Some topics to get you started:
Gloria Lemay
Leilah McCracken
Mothering Magazine
Midwifery Today
Ronnie Falcao's Midwife Archives
Association of Radical Midwives (ARM) in the UK
Mary Cronk
Ina May Gaskin
Spiritual Midwifery
The Farm Midwives
Heart and Hands
Elizabeth Davis
From there, you will just keep going, as these will all reference each other. Blessings on your journey sister. We are doing this together.
Since I believe that our state of mind and our deep seated beliefs can create our reality, I decided two things: that my body must be able to birth babies, because it was designed to do it; and that I wanted to do it as naturally as possible. So I Googled "natural childbirth". All of the references that came up (ok, not all, but most) had to do with homebirths, many with midwives and some of them *gasp* unassisted! At the time, some of the things I read seemed strange to me: MangoMama and her talk of Lotus births and babymoons, BirthLove with Leilah McCracken and her heartbreaking essay "Rape of the 21st Century", placenta smoothies to help with postpartum recovery, and more. But I kept reading.
I read of moms dealing with pain firsthand, with gentle support and love around them. I read of dads catching their babies. I read of strength and triumph and exhaustion and joy. These stories became the basis of my own personal mantra "I CAN DO THIS". I thank every one of those mothers who shared their birth stories, who by doing so empowered me to have a wonderful birth.
Now, almost 10 years later, I am appreciative that all my research led me to a greater understanding of birth, and the miracle that it is. Each website I found led me to more information. I learned how to really read studies. I learned how to dig until I found facts, and evidence-based information. I participated in chatrooms, usually as an observer. Finally, I started working as a doula and got to put some of the theory, and the universal knowledge that we all carry, into helping women with their births.
If you are thinking of a homebirth, or of working as a doula or midwife, or want a low intervention birth at the hospital, do your homework. Educate yourself. There is a good chance you will go through some of the same things I did: surprise, fear, shock, awe, anger, disgust and more when you figure out the reality behind modern birthing practices. Then you need to reach out to midwives, doulas, friends, sisters, partners and more and talk about what you learn, vent your frustrations and go about creating and healing your own birth experiences.
Some topics to get you started:
Gloria Lemay
Leilah McCracken
Mothering Magazine
Midwifery Today
Ronnie Falcao's Midwife Archives
Association of Radical Midwives (ARM) in the UK
Mary Cronk
Ina May Gaskin
Spiritual Midwifery
The Farm Midwives
Heart and Hands
Elizabeth Davis
From there, you will just keep going, as these will all reference each other. Blessings on your journey sister. We are doing this together.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Babymoons
Wow. I last wrote a blog on January 15. Then along came a baby (not mine, a client's) in a long, tiring, amazing birth and I think I decided to take a babymoon.
A babymoon? What's that? A babymoon is kind of like a honeymoon, for the family that has just welcomed its newest member. Instead of having the world visit baby, or baby going out into the world, some families are choosing a quiet time after their baby is born, to relax and slowly ease into baby life.
How long is a babymoon? It could be two weeks, or four weeks, or whatever feels best to the family involved. Generally by staying home, a mom can recuperate faster, breastfeeding can become well established and families can find new routines and rhythms that work successfully for them.
In order to have a blissful babymoon, there are some things you might want to consider. While mom may really enjoy the quiet, she will need some adult interaction with friends and family from time to time, for a few hours here and there. She will most definitely need help with her housework and have meals cooked for her (and the rest of her family). Everyone needs to remember that mom is not in the position to be a hostess. Instead, she needs everyone around her to treat her and baby as a pair. If she is well looked after, then baby will be well looked after. She needs to sleep when her baby sleeps. She needs you to attend to her needs and allow her to attend to her baby's needs, no matter how wonderful you may feel holding her baby, baby needs first and foremost a healthy mother!
Sadly, when you Google "babymoon" now, all you see is vacation and resort packages. It seems that the travel industry has caught on and they are offering all kinds of ways to spend even more money when your baby comes. Nothing wrong with travelling to a resort, but I advocate moms and dads enjoying peace and saving their money, perhaps splurging on extra care for themselves (how about a postnatal massage? having nutritious food cooked and delivered? laundry services? watching all the seasons of TV shows you enjoyed in high school? half days of childcare for the older children?)
A babymoon is a great way to get your family off to the right start. Sometimes we all need a little getaway from the world. Your baby needs an easy transition into the world, so take him or her home and get to know each other. You will enjoy yourselves, that's a promise.
A babymoon? What's that? A babymoon is kind of like a honeymoon, for the family that has just welcomed its newest member. Instead of having the world visit baby, or baby going out into the world, some families are choosing a quiet time after their baby is born, to relax and slowly ease into baby life.
How long is a babymoon? It could be two weeks, or four weeks, or whatever feels best to the family involved. Generally by staying home, a mom can recuperate faster, breastfeeding can become well established and families can find new routines and rhythms that work successfully for them.
In order to have a blissful babymoon, there are some things you might want to consider. While mom may really enjoy the quiet, she will need some adult interaction with friends and family from time to time, for a few hours here and there. She will most definitely need help with her housework and have meals cooked for her (and the rest of her family). Everyone needs to remember that mom is not in the position to be a hostess. Instead, she needs everyone around her to treat her and baby as a pair. If she is well looked after, then baby will be well looked after. She needs to sleep when her baby sleeps. She needs you to attend to her needs and allow her to attend to her baby's needs, no matter how wonderful you may feel holding her baby, baby needs first and foremost a healthy mother!
Sadly, when you Google "babymoon" now, all you see is vacation and resort packages. It seems that the travel industry has caught on and they are offering all kinds of ways to spend even more money when your baby comes. Nothing wrong with travelling to a resort, but I advocate moms and dads enjoying peace and saving their money, perhaps splurging on extra care for themselves (how about a postnatal massage? having nutritious food cooked and delivered? laundry services? watching all the seasons of TV shows you enjoyed in high school? half days of childcare for the older children?)
A babymoon is a great way to get your family off to the right start. Sometimes we all need a little getaway from the world. Your baby needs an easy transition into the world, so take him or her home and get to know each other. You will enjoy yourselves, that's a promise.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
"Stalled" labours no more!
Births, like many things in life, don't happen on a schedule. They seem to follow their own patterns, kinda like the kid who is shorter than all his classmates at the beginning of grade nine but ends up a head taller than the rest of them by the end of the school year.
Some women give birth in two hours flat. The rest of us ordinary gals wish we could birth like that, but most fast birthers will tell you it is somewhat overwhelming (what an understatement I'm sure!)
Some women give birth in under 24 hours. My first labour was like this, about 15 hours start to finish. Most of it was spent in the quiet peace of my home, coping with contractions and spending the wee hours of the morning in my tub. The last three hours were spent at the hospital.
Then there are the rest of the gals out there. For some women, their body likes to work through labour and delivery over a longer period of time. I'll give you an example of how labour can go for one of these women: baby drops one day, three days later contractions start coming regularly for a number of hours. Mom is excited- this is it! Then the darned things stop. Her body has (effaced)thinned out her cervix, then taken a rest. She is frustrated but she waits. A few days later labour kicks in again. She dilates (her cervix opens) to 3 cm. Then contractions stop again. 24 hours later labour kicks in again, and after eight hours of contractions she is fully dilated- her cervix has opened to 10 cm. Mom feels sleepy, her contractions have stopped, so she lays down to have a nap. 45 minutes later, she wakes up with her baby halfway down the birth canal and breathes her baby out.
Are you reading this in disbelief? Are you thinking that it's impossible? That you've never heard of a labour like that before? Births like I have just described ARE rare, because when we follow modern obstetrical protocols we just don't usually leave a birth to its own devices. Mothers with "stalled" labour are given drugs to speed up the process. They are led to believe that their bodies, for some unknown reason, don't work properly, and they need assistance. Their births are also pushed along because stats show that the longer you are in labour the higher your risk of infection. So the slow birther is going to have her birth pushed along with interventions that all increase her sensation of pain, her need for more drugs, her chance of a cesarian section, and the chance her baby will need attention in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
Here's how a midwife/doctor/traditional birth attendant who believes in a woman's ability to birth her baby will deal with this scenario:
1. Vaginal exams are not performed. Your birth attendant understands that your risk of infection is directly correlated to how many vaginal exams you have before your baby is born. Even a sterile glove is going to introduce bacteria from the air, from the practitioner, from your external genitalia up inside your body. Of course your chance of infection will be increased! Your attendant can tell that your labour is progressing without the need for internal exams.
2. Your bag of waters is not broken. This practice has been thought to help speed along a labour. Even in studies that showed a shorter labour and birth, the difference was only half an hour. The risks associated with the practice, including higher infection rates and fetal distress, drastically outweigh the benefit of a slightly shorter labour.
3. Your are encouraged to move and rest according to how you feel. Your practitioner will allow you to decide what is best for you. If you feel restless, you might want to pace the floor. If you are sleepy, you can have a nap. If you are hungry, you eat what you can tolerate.
4. You are assessed to see if your baby is in a good position for birth. Some babies are in awkward positions which draw out a labour. By massaging your belly and listening to your baby with a fetoscope, your practitioner can figure out how he or she is positioned in your uterus. If your baby is poorly positioned, your practitioner can suggest positions to help your baby turn, perform external massage to help him turn, or, as a last resort, perform manouevers during a vaginal exam to help your baby be in a better position.
There is no hard and fast rule that says once you go into labour, you MUST have your baby. A good practitioner will pay close attention to your health and your baby's health, and support you to make sure you are well rested and nourished during a drawn out birth. They can help you to deal with contractions, and, most likely, once you become further dilated (your cervix is more opened up), you will stay in labour that continues to progress without long breaks. You and your practitioner should also be aware that sometimes your body will stop labouring due to external stress. Perhaps you are nervous in a hospital, and need extra reassurance. Perhaps you invited too many people to your homebirth, and your original plan of a joyful party is now leaving you wishing for privacy. Together you can make adjustments to your environment to help you feel comfortable.
In my opinion, this kind of birth is most easily facilitated at home. Your practitioner can focus on a quality experience with you instead of following rules about what stage in labour you should be in based on the clock. Then, years later, you can talk about how your child, who is always slow to get going in the morning, did the same thing when he was born....it makes for a cute story ;)
Some women give birth in two hours flat. The rest of us ordinary gals wish we could birth like that, but most fast birthers will tell you it is somewhat overwhelming (what an understatement I'm sure!)
Some women give birth in under 24 hours. My first labour was like this, about 15 hours start to finish. Most of it was spent in the quiet peace of my home, coping with contractions and spending the wee hours of the morning in my tub. The last three hours were spent at the hospital.
Then there are the rest of the gals out there. For some women, their body likes to work through labour and delivery over a longer period of time. I'll give you an example of how labour can go for one of these women: baby drops one day, three days later contractions start coming regularly for a number of hours. Mom is excited- this is it! Then the darned things stop. Her body has (effaced)thinned out her cervix, then taken a rest. She is frustrated but she waits. A few days later labour kicks in again. She dilates (her cervix opens) to 3 cm. Then contractions stop again. 24 hours later labour kicks in again, and after eight hours of contractions she is fully dilated- her cervix has opened to 10 cm. Mom feels sleepy, her contractions have stopped, so she lays down to have a nap. 45 minutes later, she wakes up with her baby halfway down the birth canal and breathes her baby out.
Are you reading this in disbelief? Are you thinking that it's impossible? That you've never heard of a labour like that before? Births like I have just described ARE rare, because when we follow modern obstetrical protocols we just don't usually leave a birth to its own devices. Mothers with "stalled" labour are given drugs to speed up the process. They are led to believe that their bodies, for some unknown reason, don't work properly, and they need assistance. Their births are also pushed along because stats show that the longer you are in labour the higher your risk of infection. So the slow birther is going to have her birth pushed along with interventions that all increase her sensation of pain, her need for more drugs, her chance of a cesarian section, and the chance her baby will need attention in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
Here's how a midwife/doctor/traditional birth attendant who believes in a woman's ability to birth her baby will deal with this scenario:
1. Vaginal exams are not performed. Your birth attendant understands that your risk of infection is directly correlated to how many vaginal exams you have before your baby is born. Even a sterile glove is going to introduce bacteria from the air, from the practitioner, from your external genitalia up inside your body. Of course your chance of infection will be increased! Your attendant can tell that your labour is progressing without the need for internal exams.
2. Your bag of waters is not broken. This practice has been thought to help speed along a labour. Even in studies that showed a shorter labour and birth, the difference was only half an hour. The risks associated with the practice, including higher infection rates and fetal distress, drastically outweigh the benefit of a slightly shorter labour.
3. Your are encouraged to move and rest according to how you feel. Your practitioner will allow you to decide what is best for you. If you feel restless, you might want to pace the floor. If you are sleepy, you can have a nap. If you are hungry, you eat what you can tolerate.
4. You are assessed to see if your baby is in a good position for birth. Some babies are in awkward positions which draw out a labour. By massaging your belly and listening to your baby with a fetoscope, your practitioner can figure out how he or she is positioned in your uterus. If your baby is poorly positioned, your practitioner can suggest positions to help your baby turn, perform external massage to help him turn, or, as a last resort, perform manouevers during a vaginal exam to help your baby be in a better position.
There is no hard and fast rule that says once you go into labour, you MUST have your baby. A good practitioner will pay close attention to your health and your baby's health, and support you to make sure you are well rested and nourished during a drawn out birth. They can help you to deal with contractions, and, most likely, once you become further dilated (your cervix is more opened up), you will stay in labour that continues to progress without long breaks. You and your practitioner should also be aware that sometimes your body will stop labouring due to external stress. Perhaps you are nervous in a hospital, and need extra reassurance. Perhaps you invited too many people to your homebirth, and your original plan of a joyful party is now leaving you wishing for privacy. Together you can make adjustments to your environment to help you feel comfortable.
In my opinion, this kind of birth is most easily facilitated at home. Your practitioner can focus on a quality experience with you instead of following rules about what stage in labour you should be in based on the clock. Then, years later, you can talk about how your child, who is always slow to get going in the morning, did the same thing when he was born....it makes for a cute story ;)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
New Year's Resolutions
Simple, right? It should be. I am not resolving this year to lose weight, or eat better, or change the fact that I am about the least organized person you will meet. I want more than a physical change in the way I interact with the world.
So here goes. This year I am resolving to live in alignment with my personal convictions. I feel a strong need to make my environmental footprint smaller and to serve my fellow persons. I want to make sure that I consume less and choose alternatives, that I spend quality time with the people I love, and that I develop my spiritual/live views further.
That's it. When I put it down it seems a heck of a lot simpler than focusing on surface things, because my mind works on a deeper level.
What are your resolutions this year?
So here goes. This year I am resolving to live in alignment with my personal convictions. I feel a strong need to make my environmental footprint smaller and to serve my fellow persons. I want to make sure that I consume less and choose alternatives, that I spend quality time with the people I love, and that I develop my spiritual/live views further.
That's it. When I put it down it seems a heck of a lot simpler than focusing on surface things, because my mind works on a deeper level.
What are your resolutions this year?
Monday, December 17, 2007
Reflecting
I've neglected this baby of a blog for the past couple of weeks. I just started work at a new baby boutique, Stylin' Mama Baby & Tot in Saint John NB. Some great products and working for a great business woman, Jenny Scott. It's been a lot of fun but in some ways I feel like I've been thrown into the fast lane. As with anything else, it's all about adjusting to new things.
Speaking of adjusting to new things, I am also in the process of reflecting on this past year. For those of you who don't know me, in the past year I left my marriage of 10 years, moved to a new city, and engaged in a struggle to find out more about myself and what I want out of life. Tall order. The struggle continues. It's a happy struggle more days than not, but there are those days when I wonder how I will get through the day. Then a friend calls or my kids say something wonderful or I just feel totally successful with something I've done and the smile returns.
I am looking forward to 2008. I still have some major changes I want to make in my life: returning to school, personal fitness, organizational skills, goal setting and attaining my dreams, becoming a better parent, looking at options to public school for my kids, completing my divorce, getting my finances on track, nourishing my spiritual needs and more.
It honestly doesn't seem like such a tall order for the woman who started the year with a jumbled heart and mind and is ending the year feeling strong and confident. I have learned some hard lessons this year and become acquainted with my demons. Going into 2008 I want to give them a big hug and let them know I love them, flaws and all. That I love ME, flaws and all. Here's to a smashing year :)
Speaking of adjusting to new things, I am also in the process of reflecting on this past year. For those of you who don't know me, in the past year I left my marriage of 10 years, moved to a new city, and engaged in a struggle to find out more about myself and what I want out of life. Tall order. The struggle continues. It's a happy struggle more days than not, but there are those days when I wonder how I will get through the day. Then a friend calls or my kids say something wonderful or I just feel totally successful with something I've done and the smile returns.
I am looking forward to 2008. I still have some major changes I want to make in my life: returning to school, personal fitness, organizational skills, goal setting and attaining my dreams, becoming a better parent, looking at options to public school for my kids, completing my divorce, getting my finances on track, nourishing my spiritual needs and more.
It honestly doesn't seem like such a tall order for the woman who started the year with a jumbled heart and mind and is ending the year feeling strong and confident. I have learned some hard lessons this year and become acquainted with my demons. Going into 2008 I want to give them a big hug and let them know I love them, flaws and all. That I love ME, flaws and all. Here's to a smashing year :)
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Women's magic (Periods are NOT icky)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21996417/
I heard a while back that a new source of stem cells could be menstrual fluid. Currently stem cells are being used to try to grow new organs and find treatments for diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. Stem cells have typically been harvested from embryos, a morally questionable practice that yields cells capable of becoming virtually any kind of cell you can find in the human body. Menstrual blood also yields cells, dubbed endometrial stem cells, that have the same capabilities, according to researchers around the world.
Would you believe that I'm not surprised? Traditionally, in every culture around the world, menstruation has been seen as a mystery, with some kind of ceremony revolving around a girl's first period, or menarche. Women were seen as being very powerful, with menstrual blood regarded as magical and even dangerous to men. In "The Red Tent", by author Anita Diamant, there is a powerful scene where the women are accused of stealing their father's many household gods. When he finds out that the gods have been hidden in the straw the women sit upon during menstruation, he regards them as being defiled and does not pursue the matter further.
Wouldn't it be amazing if information, such as the stem cell breakthrough, got women to regard their periods as times of power instead of with disgust and dread?
I challenge women to start taking back their periods! Start by seeing if you can take a day to yourself each month when your period starts. If you can't use a day off at work, at least set aside a few hours. Try alternative products like a Diva Cup or cloth pads. When you empty your Diva Cup you can add water to the menstrual blood for a great way to give magic to your plants, instead of having it end up in the sewage system or in the landfill.
For more info, here are some great websites:
http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tent-Anita-Diamant/dp/0312195516
http://www.mum.org/
http://www.divacup.com/
http://www.lunapads.com/
I heard a while back that a new source of stem cells could be menstrual fluid. Currently stem cells are being used to try to grow new organs and find treatments for diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. Stem cells have typically been harvested from embryos, a morally questionable practice that yields cells capable of becoming virtually any kind of cell you can find in the human body. Menstrual blood also yields cells, dubbed endometrial stem cells, that have the same capabilities, according to researchers around the world.
Would you believe that I'm not surprised? Traditionally, in every culture around the world, menstruation has been seen as a mystery, with some kind of ceremony revolving around a girl's first period, or menarche. Women were seen as being very powerful, with menstrual blood regarded as magical and even dangerous to men. In "The Red Tent", by author Anita Diamant, there is a powerful scene where the women are accused of stealing their father's many household gods. When he finds out that the gods have been hidden in the straw the women sit upon during menstruation, he regards them as being defiled and does not pursue the matter further.
Wouldn't it be amazing if information, such as the stem cell breakthrough, got women to regard their periods as times of power instead of with disgust and dread?
I challenge women to start taking back their periods! Start by seeing if you can take a day to yourself each month when your period starts. If you can't use a day off at work, at least set aside a few hours. Try alternative products like a Diva Cup or cloth pads. When you empty your Diva Cup you can add water to the menstrual blood for a great way to give magic to your plants, instead of having it end up in the sewage system or in the landfill.
For more info, here are some great websites:
http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tent-Anita-Diamant/dp/0312195516
http://www.mum.org/
http://www.divacup.com/
http://www.lunapads.com/
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