Today I attended an awe-inspiring birth. I'm tired, I'm moved, I'm relieved. I am so proud of, and happy for, the family I served.
My client had a dream for her birth. She had an incredibly supportive husband. They were a team, they respectfully requested birth care on their terms, and what was deemed "risky" two days ago ended with a peaceful, low-intervention birth. The staff involved were tolerant and truly worked with this couple, discussing options and giving them the space they needed to make decisions. This mom listened to her body and pushed as she saw fit; her big baby slid out while mom was squatting on the floor. Most importantly, she got what she wanted from her birth: to have an active role in the process. At one point, just before her baby entered the world, she let out a laugh that I thought sounded frustrated. I immediately said, "You're almost there!" and she replied, "Yes, I know, I'm happy!"
Tonight I turned off my cell phone for the first time in over two months...until the next client. Today's birth reminds me of all the reasons WHY I do what I do. I love birth, and I love the power and the life that resounds in the process. I am so very grateful to have been a part of today's miracle, and I dream of more to come!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
City bus ramblings
I was sitting on the bus yesterday
A woman
Not far ahead of me
Marmalade hair and grey roots
Long glossy hair tied
Up in a knot
I'm sure it's beautiful
Once the marmalade is out
But she hides her power with store bought
Dye
So noone can see how hard she's worked
For the wisdom and truth she carries
Inside her
She devalues herself
Her sisters
Her mothers
Trying to look like the girl
Who was awkward and searching
I promise myself that I will
Go silver
Let it shine
Show no fear
I want to see more crones
A woman
Not far ahead of me
Marmalade hair and grey roots
Long glossy hair tied
Up in a knot
I'm sure it's beautiful
Once the marmalade is out
But she hides her power with store bought
Dye
So noone can see how hard she's worked
For the wisdom and truth she carries
Inside her
She devalues herself
Her sisters
Her mothers
Trying to look like the girl
Who was awkward and searching
I promise myself that I will
Go silver
Let it shine
Show no fear
I want to see more crones
Friday, March 28, 2008
I wish...for changes in the workplace
Moms need a break. Dads need a break. Period. And I'm not just talking about parental leave. When you have children, working 40 hours a week makes it feel like you never see them. Up at 7, out the door by 8, back home by 6 pm and everyone needs to wind down, eat supper, homework, bath, bedtime by 830...it's enough to drive a mom mad!
I would love to see more companies who understand that old systems of working are not necessarily the best. As someone who works best in energetic spurts, and as a woman whose multitasking skills have been honed due to the trials of parenting, I know I'm capable of doing quality work in reduced timeframes. The old concept of working during specific hours, just to have presence, should go the way of the dinosaur. How about good management, and planning what your business goals are for the year, then giving people projects to fit those goals, and an added challenge: do it on your own schedule. If it meets the requirements in both quality and quantity, you can keep your schedule. This takes good management skills and feedback...sadly lacking in the majority of workplaces.
Next, take it a step further. If your employees aren't working from home, and you want them at work to collaborate and so on, make a really beautiful work environment. Add in high quality childcare onsite, and let people access their kids whenever they want to, whether for breastfeeding or a snuggle.
I know there are a few companies out there doing it, but they are few and far between. Let's get creative and make some more...I am betting you will have fewer sick days and happier, more productive staff all around.
I would love to see more companies who understand that old systems of working are not necessarily the best. As someone who works best in energetic spurts, and as a woman whose multitasking skills have been honed due to the trials of parenting, I know I'm capable of doing quality work in reduced timeframes. The old concept of working during specific hours, just to have presence, should go the way of the dinosaur. How about good management, and planning what your business goals are for the year, then giving people projects to fit those goals, and an added challenge: do it on your own schedule. If it meets the requirements in both quality and quantity, you can keep your schedule. This takes good management skills and feedback...sadly lacking in the majority of workplaces.
Next, take it a step further. If your employees aren't working from home, and you want them at work to collaborate and so on, make a really beautiful work environment. Add in high quality childcare onsite, and let people access their kids whenever they want to, whether for breastfeeding or a snuggle.
I know there are a few companies out there doing it, but they are few and far between. Let's get creative and make some more...I am betting you will have fewer sick days and happier, more productive staff all around.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Living green
Despite all the hype, I am going to come out and admit it: living green is d*$%ed hard. It is! Making changes to our consumption patterns and changing our environmental blueprint takes some personal evolution and a heck of a lot of soul searching.
At a time when going green is cool, everywhere you look there is another joe trying to sell you something that is "environmentally friendly". Huh? So trading in my poly-cotton bedsheets for organic cotton is good for the environment? What do I do with my old sheets? Send them to the thrift store so someone else, who can't afford to be eco-friendly(or is just smarter than me), can buy 'em? Should I really buy the corn bottle for my water with the built in filter because it will biodegrade? Perhaps the companies that tout these products are truly offering their wares out of concern for the earth. Perhaps they realize that there is also a great amount of money to be made from our mass hysteria about global warming, landfills, and celebrity endorsements of earth friendly living.
C'mon people! Reduce, reuse, recycle. It's a simple concept, one that bears reiteration....
1. Reduce means that I STOP being such a stupid, mindless consumer. I personally avoid malls as much as I can because I often see things that I "need" to buy. Thank God I have the personal discipline (or maybe it's just the empty wallet) and often put off those decisions. I usually find I can go without. Does that mean that I don't have objects in my home that I love? Nope. I had a wise friend who told me, about 5 years back when I was having a similar rant to today, "But Amy, beauty is important. When you are careful about your choices, you can have beautiful things that support your spirit and enhance your life." She was right. These days I shop for form AND function, and look for unique, one of a kind items at thrift shops and local markets. When setting up my apartment last year, I had to purchase many household goods. I purchased a beautiful set of dishes from the late 70s/early 80s at a local thrift store and I smile every time I use them! The entire stack cost me less than $10, I wasn't buying a new product with lots of packaging, and I got a high quality well made item well within my budget. When it's a big purchase, like a digital camera, I buy for the longest use possible, which may mean a higher initial cost but with more features and better construction I will use it for a longer time period.
2. Reuse. See references to thrift stores in #1. Think of ways to use what you have in your home before you get rid of it, or exchange it with friends. Since I believe so strongly in #1, I'd like to see us choosing things for our homes that will last generations, instead of just "right now". Reusing the packaging that your food came in, for example, is a great idea. If you can get rid of the packaging in the first place (I never use all the pesky plastic bags in the grocery store produce department, for example, and it's never been a problem), then you've followed rule #1 and don't have anything to reuse in the first place.
3. Recycle. And not just your pop bottles. They fall under rule #1. So do plastic water bottles and more. If you must buy treats, make sure you do recycle. I for one think that beer and wine are more acceptable alternatives to pop because they come in glass bottles and glass is more earth friendly than plastic. Recycling, especially plastic, is important but also has great environmental and economic impact. If you can buy at stores that allow you to forgo their packaging and use your own containers, like bulk food stores, by all means, do it! If not, make sure that any items that can be recycled in your household are. Some commonly overlooked items are fluorescent lights and batteries, neither of which belong in the landfill.
Truly going green, as opposed to using our consuming tendencies to buy buy buy, can be hard. It means really weighing out our current purchases with their impact on our health and the health of our environment long term. Some of the benefits include being able to sleep better at night and reduced stress on your pocket book.
At a time when going green is cool, everywhere you look there is another joe trying to sell you something that is "environmentally friendly". Huh? So trading in my poly-cotton bedsheets for organic cotton is good for the environment? What do I do with my old sheets? Send them to the thrift store so someone else, who can't afford to be eco-friendly(or is just smarter than me), can buy 'em? Should I really buy the corn bottle for my water with the built in filter because it will biodegrade? Perhaps the companies that tout these products are truly offering their wares out of concern for the earth. Perhaps they realize that there is also a great amount of money to be made from our mass hysteria about global warming, landfills, and celebrity endorsements of earth friendly living.
C'mon people! Reduce, reuse, recycle. It's a simple concept, one that bears reiteration....
1. Reduce means that I STOP being such a stupid, mindless consumer. I personally avoid malls as much as I can because I often see things that I "need" to buy. Thank God I have the personal discipline (or maybe it's just the empty wallet) and often put off those decisions. I usually find I can go without. Does that mean that I don't have objects in my home that I love? Nope. I had a wise friend who told me, about 5 years back when I was having a similar rant to today, "But Amy, beauty is important. When you are careful about your choices, you can have beautiful things that support your spirit and enhance your life." She was right. These days I shop for form AND function, and look for unique, one of a kind items at thrift shops and local markets. When setting up my apartment last year, I had to purchase many household goods. I purchased a beautiful set of dishes from the late 70s/early 80s at a local thrift store and I smile every time I use them! The entire stack cost me less than $10, I wasn't buying a new product with lots of packaging, and I got a high quality well made item well within my budget. When it's a big purchase, like a digital camera, I buy for the longest use possible, which may mean a higher initial cost but with more features and better construction I will use it for a longer time period.
2. Reuse. See references to thrift stores in #1. Think of ways to use what you have in your home before you get rid of it, or exchange it with friends. Since I believe so strongly in #1, I'd like to see us choosing things for our homes that will last generations, instead of just "right now". Reusing the packaging that your food came in, for example, is a great idea. If you can get rid of the packaging in the first place (I never use all the pesky plastic bags in the grocery store produce department, for example, and it's never been a problem), then you've followed rule #1 and don't have anything to reuse in the first place.
3. Recycle. And not just your pop bottles. They fall under rule #1. So do plastic water bottles and more. If you must buy treats, make sure you do recycle. I for one think that beer and wine are more acceptable alternatives to pop because they come in glass bottles and glass is more earth friendly than plastic. Recycling, especially plastic, is important but also has great environmental and economic impact. If you can buy at stores that allow you to forgo their packaging and use your own containers, like bulk food stores, by all means, do it! If not, make sure that any items that can be recycled in your household are. Some commonly overlooked items are fluorescent lights and batteries, neither of which belong in the landfill.
Truly going green, as opposed to using our consuming tendencies to buy buy buy, can be hard. It means really weighing out our current purchases with their impact on our health and the health of our environment long term. Some of the benefits include being able to sleep better at night and reduced stress on your pocket book.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Chance meetings
Today I was blessed to meet a wonderful spiritual guide, Chekotah Bronson. He is from Alberta and on his way through New Brunswick...I don't remember why? But some people that you meet just pour out energy and light. Without even knowing me he gave me words of encouragement and insight about midwifery and serving women, babies and the world.
Thank you Chekotah!
Thank you Chekotah!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The beginning of a journey
Yesterday, while blogging about "babymoons" I remembered, fondly, some of the sites that influenced and educated me as a newly pregnant mom with my first child. I was a "young" mom at 21, none of my friends had babies, and my mom had gone through 3 c-sections to bring my siblings and I into the world. I had noone that I knew personally who could give me encouragement or information. So I turned to the internet.
Since I believe that our state of mind and our deep seated beliefs can create our reality, I decided two things: that my body must be able to birth babies, because it was designed to do it; and that I wanted to do it as naturally as possible. So I Googled "natural childbirth". All of the references that came up (ok, not all, but most) had to do with homebirths, many with midwives and some of them *gasp* unassisted! At the time, some of the things I read seemed strange to me: MangoMama and her talk of Lotus births and babymoons, BirthLove with Leilah McCracken and her heartbreaking essay "Rape of the 21st Century", placenta smoothies to help with postpartum recovery, and more. But I kept reading.
I read of moms dealing with pain firsthand, with gentle support and love around them. I read of dads catching their babies. I read of strength and triumph and exhaustion and joy. These stories became the basis of my own personal mantra "I CAN DO THIS". I thank every one of those mothers who shared their birth stories, who by doing so empowered me to have a wonderful birth.
Now, almost 10 years later, I am appreciative that all my research led me to a greater understanding of birth, and the miracle that it is. Each website I found led me to more information. I learned how to really read studies. I learned how to dig until I found facts, and evidence-based information. I participated in chatrooms, usually as an observer. Finally, I started working as a doula and got to put some of the theory, and the universal knowledge that we all carry, into helping women with their births.
If you are thinking of a homebirth, or of working as a doula or midwife, or want a low intervention birth at the hospital, do your homework. Educate yourself. There is a good chance you will go through some of the same things I did: surprise, fear, shock, awe, anger, disgust and more when you figure out the reality behind modern birthing practices. Then you need to reach out to midwives, doulas, friends, sisters, partners and more and talk about what you learn, vent your frustrations and go about creating and healing your own birth experiences.
Some topics to get you started:
Gloria Lemay
Leilah McCracken
Mothering Magazine
Midwifery Today
Ronnie Falcao's Midwife Archives
Association of Radical Midwives (ARM) in the UK
Mary Cronk
Ina May Gaskin
Spiritual Midwifery
The Farm Midwives
Heart and Hands
Elizabeth Davis
From there, you will just keep going, as these will all reference each other. Blessings on your journey sister. We are doing this together.
Since I believe that our state of mind and our deep seated beliefs can create our reality, I decided two things: that my body must be able to birth babies, because it was designed to do it; and that I wanted to do it as naturally as possible. So I Googled "natural childbirth". All of the references that came up (ok, not all, but most) had to do with homebirths, many with midwives and some of them *gasp* unassisted! At the time, some of the things I read seemed strange to me: MangoMama and her talk of Lotus births and babymoons, BirthLove with Leilah McCracken and her heartbreaking essay "Rape of the 21st Century", placenta smoothies to help with postpartum recovery, and more. But I kept reading.
I read of moms dealing with pain firsthand, with gentle support and love around them. I read of dads catching their babies. I read of strength and triumph and exhaustion and joy. These stories became the basis of my own personal mantra "I CAN DO THIS". I thank every one of those mothers who shared their birth stories, who by doing so empowered me to have a wonderful birth.
Now, almost 10 years later, I am appreciative that all my research led me to a greater understanding of birth, and the miracle that it is. Each website I found led me to more information. I learned how to really read studies. I learned how to dig until I found facts, and evidence-based information. I participated in chatrooms, usually as an observer. Finally, I started working as a doula and got to put some of the theory, and the universal knowledge that we all carry, into helping women with their births.
If you are thinking of a homebirth, or of working as a doula or midwife, or want a low intervention birth at the hospital, do your homework. Educate yourself. There is a good chance you will go through some of the same things I did: surprise, fear, shock, awe, anger, disgust and more when you figure out the reality behind modern birthing practices. Then you need to reach out to midwives, doulas, friends, sisters, partners and more and talk about what you learn, vent your frustrations and go about creating and healing your own birth experiences.
Some topics to get you started:
Gloria Lemay
Leilah McCracken
Mothering Magazine
Midwifery Today
Ronnie Falcao's Midwife Archives
Association of Radical Midwives (ARM) in the UK
Mary Cronk
Ina May Gaskin
Spiritual Midwifery
The Farm Midwives
Heart and Hands
Elizabeth Davis
From there, you will just keep going, as these will all reference each other. Blessings on your journey sister. We are doing this together.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Babymoons
Wow. I last wrote a blog on January 15. Then along came a baby (not mine, a client's) in a long, tiring, amazing birth and I think I decided to take a babymoon.
A babymoon? What's that? A babymoon is kind of like a honeymoon, for the family that has just welcomed its newest member. Instead of having the world visit baby, or baby going out into the world, some families are choosing a quiet time after their baby is born, to relax and slowly ease into baby life.
How long is a babymoon? It could be two weeks, or four weeks, or whatever feels best to the family involved. Generally by staying home, a mom can recuperate faster, breastfeeding can become well established and families can find new routines and rhythms that work successfully for them.
In order to have a blissful babymoon, there are some things you might want to consider. While mom may really enjoy the quiet, she will need some adult interaction with friends and family from time to time, for a few hours here and there. She will most definitely need help with her housework and have meals cooked for her (and the rest of her family). Everyone needs to remember that mom is not in the position to be a hostess. Instead, she needs everyone around her to treat her and baby as a pair. If she is well looked after, then baby will be well looked after. She needs to sleep when her baby sleeps. She needs you to attend to her needs and allow her to attend to her baby's needs, no matter how wonderful you may feel holding her baby, baby needs first and foremost a healthy mother!
Sadly, when you Google "babymoon" now, all you see is vacation and resort packages. It seems that the travel industry has caught on and they are offering all kinds of ways to spend even more money when your baby comes. Nothing wrong with travelling to a resort, but I advocate moms and dads enjoying peace and saving their money, perhaps splurging on extra care for themselves (how about a postnatal massage? having nutritious food cooked and delivered? laundry services? watching all the seasons of TV shows you enjoyed in high school? half days of childcare for the older children?)
A babymoon is a great way to get your family off to the right start. Sometimes we all need a little getaway from the world. Your baby needs an easy transition into the world, so take him or her home and get to know each other. You will enjoy yourselves, that's a promise.
A babymoon? What's that? A babymoon is kind of like a honeymoon, for the family that has just welcomed its newest member. Instead of having the world visit baby, or baby going out into the world, some families are choosing a quiet time after their baby is born, to relax and slowly ease into baby life.
How long is a babymoon? It could be two weeks, or four weeks, or whatever feels best to the family involved. Generally by staying home, a mom can recuperate faster, breastfeeding can become well established and families can find new routines and rhythms that work successfully for them.
In order to have a blissful babymoon, there are some things you might want to consider. While mom may really enjoy the quiet, she will need some adult interaction with friends and family from time to time, for a few hours here and there. She will most definitely need help with her housework and have meals cooked for her (and the rest of her family). Everyone needs to remember that mom is not in the position to be a hostess. Instead, she needs everyone around her to treat her and baby as a pair. If she is well looked after, then baby will be well looked after. She needs to sleep when her baby sleeps. She needs you to attend to her needs and allow her to attend to her baby's needs, no matter how wonderful you may feel holding her baby, baby needs first and foremost a healthy mother!
Sadly, when you Google "babymoon" now, all you see is vacation and resort packages. It seems that the travel industry has caught on and they are offering all kinds of ways to spend even more money when your baby comes. Nothing wrong with travelling to a resort, but I advocate moms and dads enjoying peace and saving their money, perhaps splurging on extra care for themselves (how about a postnatal massage? having nutritious food cooked and delivered? laundry services? watching all the seasons of TV shows you enjoyed in high school? half days of childcare for the older children?)
A babymoon is a great way to get your family off to the right start. Sometimes we all need a little getaway from the world. Your baby needs an easy transition into the world, so take him or her home and get to know each other. You will enjoy yourselves, that's a promise.
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