Simple, right? It should be. I am not resolving this year to lose weight, or eat better, or change the fact that I am about the least organized person you will meet. I want more than a physical change in the way I interact with the world.
So here goes. This year I am resolving to live in alignment with my personal convictions. I feel a strong need to make my environmental footprint smaller and to serve my fellow persons. I want to make sure that I consume less and choose alternatives, that I spend quality time with the people I love, and that I develop my spiritual/live views further.
That's it. When I put it down it seems a heck of a lot simpler than focusing on surface things, because my mind works on a deeper level.
What are your resolutions this year?
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Monday, December 17, 2007
Reflecting
I've neglected this baby of a blog for the past couple of weeks. I just started work at a new baby boutique, Stylin' Mama Baby & Tot in Saint John NB. Some great products and working for a great business woman, Jenny Scott. It's been a lot of fun but in some ways I feel like I've been thrown into the fast lane. As with anything else, it's all about adjusting to new things.
Speaking of adjusting to new things, I am also in the process of reflecting on this past year. For those of you who don't know me, in the past year I left my marriage of 10 years, moved to a new city, and engaged in a struggle to find out more about myself and what I want out of life. Tall order. The struggle continues. It's a happy struggle more days than not, but there are those days when I wonder how I will get through the day. Then a friend calls or my kids say something wonderful or I just feel totally successful with something I've done and the smile returns.
I am looking forward to 2008. I still have some major changes I want to make in my life: returning to school, personal fitness, organizational skills, goal setting and attaining my dreams, becoming a better parent, looking at options to public school for my kids, completing my divorce, getting my finances on track, nourishing my spiritual needs and more.
It honestly doesn't seem like such a tall order for the woman who started the year with a jumbled heart and mind and is ending the year feeling strong and confident. I have learned some hard lessons this year and become acquainted with my demons. Going into 2008 I want to give them a big hug and let them know I love them, flaws and all. That I love ME, flaws and all. Here's to a smashing year :)
Speaking of adjusting to new things, I am also in the process of reflecting on this past year. For those of you who don't know me, in the past year I left my marriage of 10 years, moved to a new city, and engaged in a struggle to find out more about myself and what I want out of life. Tall order. The struggle continues. It's a happy struggle more days than not, but there are those days when I wonder how I will get through the day. Then a friend calls or my kids say something wonderful or I just feel totally successful with something I've done and the smile returns.
I am looking forward to 2008. I still have some major changes I want to make in my life: returning to school, personal fitness, organizational skills, goal setting and attaining my dreams, becoming a better parent, looking at options to public school for my kids, completing my divorce, getting my finances on track, nourishing my spiritual needs and more.
It honestly doesn't seem like such a tall order for the woman who started the year with a jumbled heart and mind and is ending the year feeling strong and confident. I have learned some hard lessons this year and become acquainted with my demons. Going into 2008 I want to give them a big hug and let them know I love them, flaws and all. That I love ME, flaws and all. Here's to a smashing year :)
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Women's magic (Periods are NOT icky)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21996417/
I heard a while back that a new source of stem cells could be menstrual fluid. Currently stem cells are being used to try to grow new organs and find treatments for diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. Stem cells have typically been harvested from embryos, a morally questionable practice that yields cells capable of becoming virtually any kind of cell you can find in the human body. Menstrual blood also yields cells, dubbed endometrial stem cells, that have the same capabilities, according to researchers around the world.
Would you believe that I'm not surprised? Traditionally, in every culture around the world, menstruation has been seen as a mystery, with some kind of ceremony revolving around a girl's first period, or menarche. Women were seen as being very powerful, with menstrual blood regarded as magical and even dangerous to men. In "The Red Tent", by author Anita Diamant, there is a powerful scene where the women are accused of stealing their father's many household gods. When he finds out that the gods have been hidden in the straw the women sit upon during menstruation, he regards them as being defiled and does not pursue the matter further.
Wouldn't it be amazing if information, such as the stem cell breakthrough, got women to regard their periods as times of power instead of with disgust and dread?
I challenge women to start taking back their periods! Start by seeing if you can take a day to yourself each month when your period starts. If you can't use a day off at work, at least set aside a few hours. Try alternative products like a Diva Cup or cloth pads. When you empty your Diva Cup you can add water to the menstrual blood for a great way to give magic to your plants, instead of having it end up in the sewage system or in the landfill.
For more info, here are some great websites:
http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tent-Anita-Diamant/dp/0312195516
http://www.mum.org/
http://www.divacup.com/
http://www.lunapads.com/
I heard a while back that a new source of stem cells could be menstrual fluid. Currently stem cells are being used to try to grow new organs and find treatments for diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. Stem cells have typically been harvested from embryos, a morally questionable practice that yields cells capable of becoming virtually any kind of cell you can find in the human body. Menstrual blood also yields cells, dubbed endometrial stem cells, that have the same capabilities, according to researchers around the world.
Would you believe that I'm not surprised? Traditionally, in every culture around the world, menstruation has been seen as a mystery, with some kind of ceremony revolving around a girl's first period, or menarche. Women were seen as being very powerful, with menstrual blood regarded as magical and even dangerous to men. In "The Red Tent", by author Anita Diamant, there is a powerful scene where the women are accused of stealing their father's many household gods. When he finds out that the gods have been hidden in the straw the women sit upon during menstruation, he regards them as being defiled and does not pursue the matter further.
Wouldn't it be amazing if information, such as the stem cell breakthrough, got women to regard their periods as times of power instead of with disgust and dread?
I challenge women to start taking back their periods! Start by seeing if you can take a day to yourself each month when your period starts. If you can't use a day off at work, at least set aside a few hours. Try alternative products like a Diva Cup or cloth pads. When you empty your Diva Cup you can add water to the menstrual blood for a great way to give magic to your plants, instead of having it end up in the sewage system or in the landfill.
For more info, here are some great websites:
http://www.amazon.com/Red-Tent-Anita-Diamant/dp/0312195516
http://www.mum.org/
http://www.divacup.com/
http://www.lunapads.com/
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Words of wisdom for the holidays
Anyone who knows me also knows what a big fan I am of FLYLADY. If you haven't yet, I urge everyone to go to flylady.net. There, Marla and Kelly and their friends help us FLYbabies get our lives in order, in our homes, our physical body and our emotional and spiritual sides as well. FLY means Finally Loving Yourself. WOW. This is the advice I received today in my email inbox:
"FLYLADY: Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your Peace
Dear Friends:
We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to
be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that
the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us
that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel
the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught
in that downward spiral of hurting.
Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or
how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU!
You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing!
Remember that you can't change how people behave – you can only
change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin
Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat
you poorly – feel pity for her because most likely she is a very
insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is
hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not
know what it is like to FLY!
Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things
in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up
in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to
hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it
proudly.
Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This
means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you
angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without
straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so!
Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk
behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to
make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes
to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways
and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with
grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is
not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones
always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be
someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of
misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are
FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what
unhappy and miserable people think or say about you. YOU know you
are worthy and deserving of love not hurt.
When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off
your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I
am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but
you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK
AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad
person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and
left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with
the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this
means taking care of you……. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!!
You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday
season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the
Holidays!!! Do this for YOU!
Love,
Kelly"
WOW again. FlyLady not only helps me to get my house in order...she is a great personal coach. Enjoy!
"FLYLADY: Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your Peace
Dear Friends:
We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to
be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that
the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us
that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel
the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught
in that downward spiral of hurting.
Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or
how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU!
You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing!
Remember that you can't change how people behave – you can only
change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin
Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat
you poorly – feel pity for her because most likely she is a very
insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is
hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not
know what it is like to FLY!
Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things
in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up
in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to
hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it
proudly.
Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This
means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you
angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without
straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so!
Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk
behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to
make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes
to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways
and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with
grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is
not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones
always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be
someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of
misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are
FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what
unhappy and miserable people think or say about you. YOU know you
are worthy and deserving of love not hurt.
When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off
your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I
am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but
you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK
AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad
person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and
left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with
the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this
means taking care of you……. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!!
You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday
season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the
Holidays!!! Do this for YOU!
Love,
Kelly"
WOW again. FlyLady not only helps me to get my house in order...she is a great personal coach. Enjoy!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question...
This week while out doing my Christmas shopping I picked up the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. There are no more babies in my house but I have often seen it recommended for new parents and wondered what all of the hype was about.
Mrs. Pantley wrote this book in response to her own struggles getting her youngest of four children to sleep longer stretches through the night. She, like many other parents, could not accept that the only option was to allow her son to "cry it out".
The book is a great resource to read through and gives a number of great suggestions to help you guide your little one to get more sleep. Through the use of sleep charts and an understanding of the physical and psychological needs of the infant, parents can start sleeping better.
I most appreciate the author's warm, caring tone. It is like being wrapped up in a warm blanket! The only downside to the book, if there is one, is that it's so comprehensive that you can't just take a bulleted list to follow. In order to get the whole picture you need to read through it, however if you are too time-crunched or sleep deprived, you can also jump in at different points along the way and still gain valuable insight.
This book is a must have for parents-to-be who want to practice the art of gentle parenting. I would also suggest extra copies for grandparents and whoever will be caring for your baby when you are not around.
Another blog you may want to check out is:
http://parentingbabytosleep.blogspot.com/
Cheers!
Amy
Mrs. Pantley wrote this book in response to her own struggles getting her youngest of four children to sleep longer stretches through the night. She, like many other parents, could not accept that the only option was to allow her son to "cry it out".
The book is a great resource to read through and gives a number of great suggestions to help you guide your little one to get more sleep. Through the use of sleep charts and an understanding of the physical and psychological needs of the infant, parents can start sleeping better.
I most appreciate the author's warm, caring tone. It is like being wrapped up in a warm blanket! The only downside to the book, if there is one, is that it's so comprehensive that you can't just take a bulleted list to follow. In order to get the whole picture you need to read through it, however if you are too time-crunched or sleep deprived, you can also jump in at different points along the way and still gain valuable insight.
This book is a must have for parents-to-be who want to practice the art of gentle parenting. I would also suggest extra copies for grandparents and whoever will be caring for your baby when you are not around.
Another blog you may want to check out is:
http://parentingbabytosleep.blogspot.com/
Cheers!
Amy
Friday, November 16, 2007
Birth As We Know It....a must watch for everyone
This powerful, beautiful video states all that I feel in my heart and soul about birth. It touches on ancient wisdom and shows birth the way it is meant to be: peaceful, fearless, powerful, loving. Here is the 10 minute trailer...please share it with everyone! I am looking forward to seeing the full video.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Losing the fear
Last night I was reflecting on motherhood, an amazing journey that we embark on from the moment the little line shows positive on the pregnancy test. We worry, read, talk, and worry some more that somehow, we can never give enough, do enough, be enough for our kids. We worry about giving them vaccines. We worry about choosing not to vaccinate. We worry about ultrasounds in pregnancy. We worry about the "what ifs" when we choose not to have ultrasounds. We worry about picky eating. We worry if our children eat "too much".
Our grandmothers worried for different reasons. A farming family might go hungry if it was a bad year for crops. A serious infection could ravage a child's system, or kill them. A lack of contraception left a woman with little control over reproduction: she might have 10 babies in 20 years, leaving her physically exhausted and with more mouths to feed. How did women deal with this? They had faith. They knew and understood that they were part of a greater mystery. They trusted in God, or at least if they didn't trust in God doing what was best for them, they trusted that God was in control, and they accepted it.
Despite the fear mongering that is prevalent in our society, we are living at an optimum time to have children. We have a healthy, safe food supply. We live in safe, comfortable housing. If we choose to take advantage of it, we have amazing resources like free playgroups, local free libraries, safe and engaging playgrounds, La Leche League and more. Yet our worries persist.
We have lost our faith, and misled ourselves to believe something our grandmothers didn't: that we have control. We think that if we do it all right, we are going to guarantee no scraped knees, no sickness, no harm for our children. Big business takes advantage of us, marketing gadgets and medicines and technology to guarantee that our children will be smarter, healthier and happier. We have put our faith in plastics and computer chips and manufactured foods. We keep worrying because deep down our spirit knows this is not faith at all, but delusion.
We need to find our faith again. We need to acknowledge that we are not in control of all that happens. We need to let go of control in many areas of our lives, and start living with love and power, leaving fear in our wake.
I would like to share with you a prayer that is powerful to help you release control and start living with faith, whether your own personal belief system is based on Christianity or just a feeling there is something "out there". It is an adapted version of the "Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Niebuhr, with the first four lines intact and unchanged as they are extremely powerful to the woman who is learning to let go of control:
God/dess, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardship as the path to peace and strength.
Taking the world as it is, not as I would have it:
Trusting that I am part of a greater consciousness,
That I am learning and evolving each day of my life
Through my experiences and my choice to live fearlessly.
That I will see the beauty in each day
And connect with all beings in a journey of LOVE.
God/dess, today I give the control to you.
I trust that you will guide me in my decision making.
I trust that the best thing I can do for my family is to love myself,
Tapping into the Love of the Universe, then sharing it with my family.
I am not afraid.
In sisterhood,
Amy
Our grandmothers worried for different reasons. A farming family might go hungry if it was a bad year for crops. A serious infection could ravage a child's system, or kill them. A lack of contraception left a woman with little control over reproduction: she might have 10 babies in 20 years, leaving her physically exhausted and with more mouths to feed. How did women deal with this? They had faith. They knew and understood that they were part of a greater mystery. They trusted in God, or at least if they didn't trust in God doing what was best for them, they trusted that God was in control, and they accepted it.
Despite the fear mongering that is prevalent in our society, we are living at an optimum time to have children. We have a healthy, safe food supply. We live in safe, comfortable housing. If we choose to take advantage of it, we have amazing resources like free playgroups, local free libraries, safe and engaging playgrounds, La Leche League and more. Yet our worries persist.
We have lost our faith, and misled ourselves to believe something our grandmothers didn't: that we have control. We think that if we do it all right, we are going to guarantee no scraped knees, no sickness, no harm for our children. Big business takes advantage of us, marketing gadgets and medicines and technology to guarantee that our children will be smarter, healthier and happier. We have put our faith in plastics and computer chips and manufactured foods. We keep worrying because deep down our spirit knows this is not faith at all, but delusion.
We need to find our faith again. We need to acknowledge that we are not in control of all that happens. We need to let go of control in many areas of our lives, and start living with love and power, leaving fear in our wake.
I would like to share with you a prayer that is powerful to help you release control and start living with faith, whether your own personal belief system is based on Christianity or just a feeling there is something "out there". It is an adapted version of the "Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Niebuhr, with the first four lines intact and unchanged as they are extremely powerful to the woman who is learning to let go of control:
God/dess, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardship as the path to peace and strength.
Taking the world as it is, not as I would have it:
Trusting that I am part of a greater consciousness,
That I am learning and evolving each day of my life
Through my experiences and my choice to live fearlessly.
That I will see the beauty in each day
And connect with all beings in a journey of LOVE.
God/dess, today I give the control to you.
I trust that you will guide me in my decision making.
I trust that the best thing I can do for my family is to love myself,
Tapping into the Love of the Universe, then sharing it with my family.
I am not afraid.
In sisterhood,
Amy
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